Music For People, Not Algorithms
Founded by Stephen Bernhard of The Schnooks, Kvetchin’ Records was created to give Stephen a label to publish under that still believes in doing music the way it had been all throughout history: raw, imperfect, and human. Kvetchin’ Records refuses to sacrifice the human element to appease an algorithm.
The result is that music published by Kvetchin’ Records won’t always have that slick, “perfect” sound people expect from today’s pop artists (and even a great many heavier genres, as well). This is due to the minimal use of pitch correction and quantization (fixing tiny timing errors that make the song sound “human”) that is used during production.
Why, you ask? Because we here believe that music made by humans should sound like it was made by humans, with those microscopic pushes and pulls inherent in a person’s playing and vocals. And, think of it this way: Would you rather listen to the talent of the musicians making the art, or the talent of the engineer who can fix every minute error to the point where the song becomes sterile and artificial sounding?
If you want a perfect song, check out Suno or Udio. If you want a song a for humans by humans, come to Kvetchin’.
Discover Quality Music with Integrity
So, what does “Kvetchin’” even mean? We’re glad you asked. Kvetch is a Yiddish word, translated to basically mean to complain or grumble incessantly. In other words, to “bitch” about something. Therefore, roughly translated, we are “Bitchin’ Records!”
So, by “Bitchin’,” are we talking about complaining after all, or are we “remarkably cool” as defined by Merriam-Webster? The answer is Yes.
The Schnooks
Check out The Schnooks on most streaming services including Apple Music, Amazon Music, Bandcamp, YouTube, Deezer, Tidal, and many more. BUT NOT SPOTIFY!
The Patterson Bernhard Project
A collaboration with the talented Ms. Alice Patterson providing the lyrics and vocals. A whole different vibe from The Schnooks. They are on most streaming services, and can be found on YouTube by clicking here.
Stephen Bernhard
The one to blame for this whole abomination.
Check out his personal page at StephenBernhard.com. You will not regret it! Muhuhahahaha!
Contact Form!
Fill out the form below to contact KVETCHIN’ RECORDS or one of our artists.
Note: Kvetchin’ Records is primarily a private label for the release of works by The Schnooks and associated acts. However, we may consider working with outside talent if Kvetchin’ feels that the artist(s) and works are in line with our ethos and overall “feel.” See below for details.
Thank you for considering Kvetchin’ Records to work with as your record label. You are welcome to contact Kvetchin’ using the form above to inquire if we are accepting outside submissions at that time.
Expedited consideration of submissions may be “purchased” for the one-time “payment” of soul and life essence to Kvetchin’ Records (KR), along with the solemn commitment to perform whatever nefarious act which KR bids you to do. This may be up to and including the following horrific acts:
- Robbing grandmothers of their Werther’s Originals
- Harvesting pangolin scales to make traditional Chinese medicine dick pills
- Harvesting dicks to make traditional Chinese Medicine pangolin pills
- Managing an Auntie Anne’s Pretzels location here
- Procuring a dirty hand towel from the unisex bathroom at the White House Situation Room, AND leave the seat up (bonus credit if you place a bag of nose candy on the bathroom counter before leaving, too)
- And lastly, Buy 22 items in a busy grocery store at the 15 items or less express lane at your local grocer, and then write a check for the items. The cruelty is the point….
Terms are subject to change, and no, we do not provide advances for bail money. Bribes are always welcome: Make money orders out to Bee L. Zebub, Managing Partner and God of the Philistines/Lord of Canaan. IOUs are no longer accepted. Contact support for questions regarding this offer by CLICKING HERE.